How to Train Your Host Club
by Zana Charleson
Summary: Basically, a simple routine of decorating the Host Club for the incoming Ladies is progressing as normal, how ever the topic this time is Norse. Thrown in a cursed sword that brings back the last person or thing to touch it and you have a massive problem.
1. Chapter 1

**My dear sister challenged me to mix How to Train Your Dragon with Ouran High School Host Club, be prepared for idiocy. **

.: Start :.

"Alright everyone!" Tamaki said loudly as he entered Music Room 3. "I have our next decorative task!"

"And that would be…" Haruhi said, leaving the ending off for Tamaki to finish.

"Vikings!" He exclaimed loudly.

"And just how would we do that?" Kyoka asked, he for one, was not liking the idea.

"Simple, girls like the primal type, so we dress up like Vikings and the girls will love it! Especially because this is such a refined school, the primal love will be perfect."

"Wasn't asking why it would be a good topic, I was asking how we are going to get this room to look like Norway with out causing serious damage to this room."

"Rocks will be fake, import some plants miniature huts where we can have tables inside and mood music. Of course were going to need some bones or something."

"You mean fake bones, right?" Honey said shyly.

"Sure…" Tamaki said.

"All right!" Hikaru and Kaoru said as they gave each other a high five.

Servants poured into the room as it started to become a fake northerly waste land. Rock by rock, and plant by plant Music Room 3 became a Viking village.

"It's missing something…" Tamaki said.

"How about that old 'cursed' sword that is in the museum on lend. I'm sure they would be willing to lend it to a reputable school such as ours." The twins said and they swayed back and forth, obviously up to something.

"I suppose." Tamaki said.

Kyoka pulled out his cell phone to request the suggestion.

"Sure, okay, well have it back." He said. He closed his phone. "They say we can borrow it for exactly 2 hours, then we have to have it back.

"Fine." Tamaki sighed. As he went over to sulk in the corner.

.:Later:.

The sword arrived in a case covered in a purple cloth. Honey pulled the cloth off carefully as the sword was reviled. A long piece of metal with numerous chips in the blade where shown.

"Ohhhh!" They said in unison. Never before had they ordered this old an antique.

Kyoka looked at the handle of the sword, this is a left hand worn sword, and… evidentially the user was very bi-lingual. Kyoka picked it up as numerous words were scribbled on the handle, as if to be remembered by the user.

"I only know Salve, Bonjour and Pozdravljeni."

The guard who held the case said to the Host Club "Legend says if it is put into the fire the last to use it will be transported to modern times. But it is only a tale." He put the case on the table as he walked out. The Twins smiled at each other.

"You know what we need to do right?" Hikaru said. They sent a silent nod between themselves as they put the tip of the sword in the fireplace. They then pulled it out hoping nobody had seen what they did, however everyone was right behind them as they did this. The sword dropped to the floor upon seeing the rest of the Host Club behind them.

Suddenly the sword began to shake, rocking back and forth as a loud pop echoed through the room. A small greenish dragon sat in front of them with a wart on the middle of it's nose. The small dragon had to be no longer than a Pomeranian. He stared at them with large dragon eyes similar in look to Honey's and Haruhi's.

Suddenly a bang came from outside the door followed by a high pitched scream.

"!" A small boy yelled as he ran into the room. He was scrawny like a stick and fiery red hair to match his lean stature.

"Zaprite vrata, hitro!" He yelled. Mori understanding what he had said closed the door behind him. The group looked at each other in astonishment and complete clueless-ness.

"Kaj se je zgodilo, kje sem?"

"Your at the Ouran High School, Host Club." Mori said, surprising everyone by using his one line a day to answer a question in some other language.

"You speak Japanese, correct?" The boy asked.

"Yes…" They replied.

"Well, I at least know your language and it's not English or something rather strange."

Agreed!" The twins said who were taking French.

"However, that still doesn't answer my question, where am I, and why am I here?"

"Well, Hikaru and Kaoru wanted to try out a legend that if you put an old sword into the fire it will bring back the last person who touched it." Haruhi explained.

A loud sound started up after she said this, followed by clanking and a piece of the floor foving upward. A lould obnoxious laugh started as a girl in a yellow dress with a parasol spun, seemingly rising from no where.

"Ahh so you found yourself a little Viking boy!" She cried as she looked at him. he's rather cute too! I see potential in him for this club. Now, what's your dirty past little one?" She said as she smiled evilly. The boy's eyes grew larger as she continued to prod him for a stereotype. Haruhi stepped in front of their manager shielding the boy.

"Leave him be, we can't take him in, besides he doesn't seem the type to be in a host club."

"Nither does Honey-Sama but he's in here, and you are too." Tamaki said with a mischievous gleam in his eye as if to reveal her secret.

Haruhi sighed as she looked to the boy. Say what's your name?" She asked.

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third." She stated.

"Bit long isn't it?" Hikaru said.

"Not really." Hiccup replied.

"Well Hicccup, welcome to the Host Club, now what's your type? The Strong Silent Type, The Boy Lolita type, how about The Mischievous Type, or the Cool Type, perhaps The Natural type like Haruhi here." Hiccup started to back up, these guys were weird!

"Or perhaps, you're here to impose on my throne as the reigning King of the Host Club!" Tamkai said as he got progressively louder.

"Oh no, never! I'm just here because well, I'm not really sure, why am I here?"

"Were not quite sure." The Host Club replied.

Suddenly a large blaze of fire erupted from the back of the room, catching some of the nearby curtains on fire. They turned around to see the little green dragon from earlier sitting indignantly on a stone. He made a strange sound that sounded, well reptilian.

"Now Toothless, that's not kind!" Hiccup said to the little dragon who sat, reproachful in front of the fireplace.

"Are you talking to the dragon, lizard thing?" Tamaki asked.

"Of course, he speaks perfectly sensible Dragoneze." Hiccup stated.

They all looked at each other astonished and somewhat confused as to the reason this boy and apparently his dragon were here. Though these questions floated in mid-air, the more important problem was, how would they get them back?


	2. Chapter 2

**Now for chapter 2. As it turns out there are some people who like the story, who knew? I'm ready now, I watched 4 episodes of Psch and I'm ready for epicness! Yea, let's get going!**

The little dragon wandered around the elaborate room sniffing at various things eating… whatever. A sound that sounded like a snort mixed with a hiss and a tinge of a giggle came out of the little dragons mouth aimed at the confused Hiccup as he wandered around the room.

"Toothless! What poor manners! Of course your not allowed to eat the chair, even if it is better than the one at home!"

The confused host club looked at each other as they began to ponder how on this planet to get these 2 back to where ever they had come from. The twins however were convinced that they had the be people doing an elaborate cosplay and some one was controlling a remote control dragon what was sadly for the Host Club, not the case.

"Look," Tamaki said as he started to attempt to act his position, " Since you are a guy, and not too horrible to look at, you will be a temporary host. Granted you mess it up we have every right to kick you out of Japan, and Kyoya has the ability." Kyoya pulled out his phone as he flashed it at Hiccup who just seemed more astonished by the object than scared. Tamakit snapped

"Hikaru, Kaoru, get him some appropriate clothes."

"With all due respect…" Hiccup started, "isn't this a Viking theme, I'm in the perfect clothes for this theme I believe since I AM from Berk."

Tamaki was taken aback was he hurtled back and proceeded to crawl in a ball and mope in the corner.

"Where's Berk?" Haruhi asked.

"Why it's a tribe off the… well, I'm not quite sure, I really can't explain it since I suppose the Roman empire has been defeated."

"Yea, it has, for about 2 thousand years." Haruhi said.

"My, that many? I was banking only on 500 years, oh well." Hiccup sighed.

The group looked around not sure how to reaping to the socially aquward Hiccup. They looked at each other and all ran off into different directions to get into costume leaving only Hiccup and Toothless. Toothless went and sat in front of Hiccup.

"Toothless in bored!" He whined as he looked from the floor back up to Hiccup. "And HUNGRY! Toohless wants food NOW!"

"Toothless you know very well were guests here, there is no way we can get food now."

"BUT TOOHLESS IS HUNGRY! TOOTHLESS WANT FOOD NOW!"

"Fine, I'll find food for you but then will you behave yourself?"

"Toothless might."

"Good, I'll take that as a promise." Hiccup should have known better for every one knows a dragon almost never keeps their word for a dragon, right down to it's very core is selfish and sees no reason in help, or promising things to others.

~**Minutes later… when the Host Club finally returned… an hour and a half later from primping…~**

"**Were back little host!" Tamaki announced after being the last one to enter the room. "Now, what shall we start you on, your sure to have an immediate fan base due to that rugged look of yours!" Mori glared at Tamaki and Hiccup. **

**Now the very suggestion of Hiccup beeing rugged was a completely ludicrous ideal, he had the body of a bone with fire cracker red hair with a sprinkling of freckles all across his pale skin. The epitome of a well… nerd. But Tamaki saw something promising in him, but then, Tamaki saw something promising in most 'males' that entered the Host Club's doors. Weather it be a elementary school or not even a male at all! Poor Hiccup was in for a ride!**

**It's show time boys, get into position! They all got into their normal stances with Hiccup utterly confused by all the Host Club's social graces and ended up standing some where off to the side. **

**As the girls came flooding in some noticed the shy red haired 12 year old. Definitely not a normal 'chosen' member. **

**He immediate attracted customers. **

**By customers of course we mostly mean Tamaki's customers. **

**Not surprisingly Tamaki wasn't really pleased.**

**Meanwhile Toothless had made him self comfortable chewing on a cushion and waiting for Hiccup to bring him back food. A girl wandered over to the little dragon surprised by it's presence. **

"**Hey look guys, the Host Club found a lizard!" Now this was quite a spectacle to the girls who were all rich and had been for the most part sheltered from reptiles. And as most rich girls who have been sheltered their whole lives do, they went right towards the little dragon. **

"**It's so cute!" They squealed. "He's adorable!" Toothless puffed out some smoke in frustration, for they were holding him the opposite of the way he was supposed to be held, by his tale. **

**Hiccup hurried over to the girls. "I assure you, he is NOT cute, nor is he supposed to be held that way!" He quickly grabbed Toothless who perched on his shoulder. "This is Toothless, he is a dragon." The girls jumped back a little but slowly crept back to look at the creature.**

"**He's awfully cute for a dragon." One of the brown haired girls said. **

"**Well don't let him hear that!" Hiccup laughed.**

**Tamaki sulked from the other side of the room. "A reptile has taken my customers." He said as he out on a pouting face, mostly in hopes of getting the girls to come back to him. **

"**Well, he is a different feature to this club, he naturally attracts attention." Kyoya said as he looked down at his note book and scribbled something.**

"**Yea, even our customers have deserted us." The twins said together.**

"**Well it looks like we need to get our customers back." Kyoya deduced, stating what everyone was thinking. Tamaki stood up into a kingly manner putting his hands on his hips, "We will now commence mission: Get Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the III Away From Our Customers, and His Lizard Thingy To Boot!"**

"**Hey Boss, isn't that a bit long for a mission name?" The Twins asked in unison.**

"**GHHHIIIAFOCAHLTTB for short."**

"**Yea Senpai, that's still a bit long."**

"**Never mind, just make them disappear!" **

"**Yessir!" The Twins said as they saluted grabbing Haruhi and leaving the scene.**

**Little did they know it might be harder to get them back than to get them there. This was going to be a long day.**


	3. Chapter 3

**It's about time I summed up this sucker, it's been going on for almost a year, so here we go, final chapter. Love you all for reading! –Z (Also, I have improved my grammar, be happy!)**

"Hey Hiccup," The twins said, poking Hiccup in the shoulder to get his attention, "You should totally come with us and serve some _very_ special customers over here." They pointed to a non-existent table on the other side of the room.

"There IS no table over there you guys." He continued to pour water from a rounded pitcher to the girls on the other side of the table, staring at him with dreamy expressions and giggled occasionally, followed by a sigh. "Besides, as you can see, I have customers." He gestured to the girls whose faces promptly turned read and began to giggle uncontrollably.

The twins looked over to watch Tamaki shove a table and 2 chairs into the area they had previously pointed to. He then put down a vase of flowers and shoved in possibly the largest group of flowers that could be put in a vase known to man. Tamaki then pushed in a miserable and scowling Haruhi in a huge pink floppy hat decked out in flowers mating the ones in the vase as well as an oversized dress that was obviously 7 or 8 sizes too large for her. Honey appeared from nowhere and looked Haruhi over. He then yelled something to the extent of she has short hair and Tamaki promptly put on a ridiculous wig to top it all off. The twins watched this in amusement as they scurried around behind Hiccup's back.

Kaoru and Hikaru promptly grabbed both of Hiccups arms, causing him to drop the pitcher he was holding and drag him over to the table where even more miserable Haruhi was sitting, a scowl painted across her heavily made-up face. "Sit." They demanded.

"Why should I? I was with those customers for another 15 minutes; couldn't you have waited that much longer?"

"No, this lady paid a very large sum of money and your with her now until the school closes."

Hiccup looked at Haruhi. Haruhi scowled back.

"She looks pretty miserable…" He said getting up, "I'll just be going no was to not make her angry…" A hand plopped on his head forcing him to sit down.

"You will be staying here as long as we want you to." Kyoya stated, his voice flat, lacking any sign of sympathy. Mori arrived next to Hiccup and plopped a small duct taped package in his lap. It began to squirm, and smoke began to rise from it. A muffled "Help me" in Dragonese arose from the package. It was Toothless! He quickly unwrapped the package; holing the little dragon above his head to which he promptly peed on the will dressed Hiccup.

"What did you do that for?" Hiccup yelled loudly in Dragonese. "You have been so poorly behaved this whole time!"

The Host Club exchanged confused glances at each other and simply looked at the soiled Hiccup. Hiccup them remembered he was in the presence of a very rich and very disgruntled lady. Hiccup was then taken by surprise as she began to laugh. After she whipped the tears from her eyes, there was an awkward silence that was broken by Hiccup who asked what he should do with the clothes that undoubtedly needed to be thoroughly cleaned.

"Let's burn them!" Honey yelled. An uncomfortable silence followed through the hall which uneasily returned to normal conversation a few seconds later. Everyone present simply looked at Honey who was out of character at the moment. "What, it's dry clean only… and it seems to be more fun to burn it."

Mumbles in agreement to what Honey said went throughout the party except for from Hiccup who looked confused. "Why would we burn clothes that just need to be washed?"

Haruhi gave a light laugh "I used to wonder why they did what they did, but then I stopped caring and let them do what they liked. I would advise you to do so too."

"Well, I suppose it IS your clothes that you let me borrow, you can do with them what you like but isn't that wasteful?"

"Well we can't very well give clothes to people that you lizard thing peed on now can we?" Tamkai announced. "The only answer to the problem is to do what Honey suggested, let us have a large bonfire and burn them, anyone want to pitch in something to burn?" Tamaki asked the now on looking guests of the Host Club.

Silently but abruptly all the hands of all the girls in the room rose their hand, as if a signal to volunteer was given. "Very well then, we burn the objects!"

**This is a space separating the time in which the first scene takes place into the next scene in the yard.**

After gaining permission from the higher-ups in the school, Tamaki used Toothless as a squeezable (and very card to start) fire starter. The miscellaneous objects were first and had everything from pictures of ex-boyfriends, to leather belts (which Haruhi decidedly kept before being thrown into the fire).

Finally the main event came, Hiccups soiled clothes.

Now one may wonder what he is wearing now if he was robbed of his clothes, well I regret to inform you he was simply wearing his old war gear, he was 100 percent Hiccup, clothing and all.

Kyoya put up a stall during the whole event to have Hiccups white shirt (which was not soiled ironically, but decided to burn anyway ) for the girls to sign, saying something they wanted to get rid of, Just like hiccups shirt. There were things Witten like parents, back stabbing best friends, and pets.

As the shirt and pants were thrown into the inferno Hiccup gripped Toothless who was about to eat the large amount of cake they had at the gathering.

Suddenly a large flash of light appeared as the attire hit the fire and Hiccup along with Toothless disappeared. As soon as it was noticed that they were gone, the area was searched and even the police were called and a missing person report filed, but alas they were never found.

Of course they were never found because at the moment they were flashed out of the scene, they appeared back in Berk, but not the Berk they knew… a scrawny boy came out of a shack with a large black dragon as he noticed a new face. He shoved his hand out at hiccup and said "Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the III, and you are?"

"Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the III."


End file.
